PART FOUR OF THE WORLD BEYOND THE CHURCH
In conversing with non-Christians, we should always follow the Apostle Paul’s advice in Colossians 4:6: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” More often than not, our tone of voice, and our ability and willingness to listen attentively and respectively will count as much in apologetic and evangelistic discussions as what we say. This means we avoid loaded language: words and phrases that belittles, mock, or ridicule. As Kreeft and Tacelli point out in Handbook of Christian Apologetics,
An argument in apologetics, when actually used in dialogue, is an extension of the arguer. The arguer’s tone, sincerity, care, concern, listening and respect matter as much as his or her logic—probably more. The world was won for Christ not by arguments but by sanctity: “What you are speaks so loud, I can hardly hear what you say.” (23)
Search Ministries produced an excellent workbook on lifestyle evangelism entitled, Connexions; Developing a Lifestyle of Evangelism among Friends. They make a similar point: “Only 7 percent of effective communication involves the actual words. Ninety-three percent of the communication process incorporates the non-verbal components. In other words, how you say what you say is critically important.” (38)
In appendix three of the same workbook, Search Ministries offers the following list of things to avoid saying. They begin by saying, “Beware of these responses. When someone forcefully expresses a view which belittles or puts down your faith, emotions soar and it is easy to respond with these kinds of statements. Here are the discussion stifles:”
- It’s a proven fact that . . .
- That’s just the way it is . . .
- There’s no question about . . .
- Only fools believe . . .
- (Using a condescending tone of voice) The Bible says . . .
- You don’t know what you’re talking about . . .
- That’s ridiculous . . .
- Look at the evidence . . .
- That just doesn’t fit the facts . . .
- You’re not serious . . .
- Well, if you believe that, then . . .
- There’s just no evidence for . . .
- That’s been totally disproved . . .
- Give me a break, that was refuted years ago . . .
- Hey, if you believe that, you are committing intellectual suicide . . .
- That’s a self-defeating argument; you’ve just said something that’s impossible.
- You’re being totally illogical.
- How can you even say that . . . (78)
All of us can probably add to this list. The message here is to avoid words and phrases that raise people’s hackles rather than open their minds. ©
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